My clients are my teachers. I consider it a great honor that they allow me into their lives and their most private thoughts. I form my theories based on them, myself and the charts. There is not much written about asteroids, so one is a sort of intrepid explorer. I explore the asteroids that resonate with me the most.
Nessus is the abuser. We all have one. Dejanira is the victim. We all have one. The asteroids are very personal to each natal chart. They are very personal to each relationship. If a person does not have a prominent Nessus in the natal chart, she will experience Nessus in synastry. This is true for all asteroids. Hence, one can experience them through relationships.
I have come to know when a client has a Nessus/Deja relationship. She will call me “unglued”. She will be desperate to get the man. She will feel that she will die if she doesn’t.The urgency tells me that it is a Nessus/Deja relationship. I have always been right, so far.
I will look at the chart and his Nessus will be conjunct her ASC, Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars or DSC, usually. Deja will be involved too. These asteroids seem to work in a pair, like a tag team. I may get the client while she is in the throes of a Nessus/Deja relationship. I may get the client after it is over. In this case, the client is much wiser. That is the subject of this article.
I used to think that people should run from Nessus/Deja relationships. However, they would not. They could not. The power is too overwhelming. Picture that sexy vampire in a vampire movie. You want him to take the girl. You know it is going to happen. It is inevitable. That is the feeling of a Nessus/Deja relationship. The passion must run it’s course. There is nothing I or anyone can say to stop it. I know from experience, as I know most of the things I write about.
Once the passion cools, the Nessus/Deja relationship seems to fall to ashes. The people wonder how they were bewitched so. They are in a stunned state of disbelief. Many have lost things that were important to them such as money and possessions. If not, many have lost other relationships with people who warned them, but they would not listen.
I missed my central point which was how Nessus/Deja relationships can be purifying. They seem to be very, very purifying. This surprised me. I did not come to this conclusion until I had enough experience counseling people. Now, I see that these relationships are life changing. The person is burned as if from an actual fire. A fire can burn away dross. The Bible talks about this. We will lose all our material possessions and all out ego achievements when we die. We come to God with only the good deeds we did out of a pure heart.
In the same way, a Nessus/Deja relationship will burn off ego layers. Let me say this. The pain will be incredible. You will feel as if you have a knife in your guts. You will cry as if your heart is breaking. The tears will be like fire. However, after it all, you will be changed. The change could never come by talk therapy, meditation or any New Age methods. The change has come from pure upheaval of your ego.
Ego reduction is the worst sort of pain. It feels as if we are melting. Most people will avoid this pain. However, the pull of the Nessus/Deja relationship makes it impossible to leave, just like the kiss of the vampire.
My conclusion is that one must respect the power of these relationships. They have a power unlike much else. Should I person walk away? I will let you be the judge.